Karen

A few years ago on a girl’s spa day up in Napa with my friends Jen and Cindy, I decided to live a little and try something different — something other than a massage or facial.

I had a mud bath.

And it was absolutely, positively the most disgusting thing I’ve ever done.

No, it wasn’t the dirt. I’m totally OK with dirt. Mud too. I have no problem getting dirty. I went into it expecting something relaxing, like a massive Glam Glow mask for my entire body.

Little did I know…

When we got to the spa, everything was hunky-dory until they took me to the room with the mud baths.

Uh…where’s my private room? I wondered. Where’s my tub?

Instead of there being a single tub in a private room, all of the mud baths were in a huge open space, all lined up in industrial rows.

There were also ladies in the tubs, and more ladies waiting for their turn, so we were all just standing there — buck naked and awkward — for, oh, 10 minutes or so (did I mention it was awkward?), until it was our turn.

At that point, the spa technicians kicked three women out of the tubs they were in and plopped us in their places.

Sooooo…the mud wasn’t fresh.

Yeah, I don’t know why, but I’d assumed they’d empty the tubs after each person, and refill them with new mud for the next.

Is that crazy? I mean, I guess dirt is dirt and all, but whatever — it grossed me out. The entire time I was sitting in that tub, I kept thinking of all the naked people who’d been there before me, and all of the strands of body hair and wayward bits of poo floating around…

Who knows how long they’d been using that same mud. It could’ve been weeks or months or YEARS!

Looking back on it, I probably should have said, “NO ACTUALLY I’LL PASS! I’M GOOD! I’LL JUST WAIT HERE!” But I was overwhelmed by the grossness of it all and couldn’t stop myself before I was completely immersed in the mud, and by that point, it wasn’t easy to get out.

That mud was hot and encumbering. Difficult to move around in. And then my claustrophobia kicked in, and I couldn’t breathe. To make matters worse, I was sitting facing a wall that was covered with these really scary masks, and I couldn’t look to either side — mostly out of shock, but also because it might seem like I was ogling the other naked women in the tubs next to me.

IT WAS THE MOST DISGUSTING 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE!

Lesson learned here: opt for the massage or facial. 🙂

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever done in the name of beauty?

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

You might be wondering, “So what the heck is this Monday Poll thing anyway?”

Well, it isn’t much of a poll. It’s more just a constantly evolving (devolving?), somewhat random list of questions I’ve been putting out to readers every Monday morning for the past six years. I’ve always enjoyed reading your answers in the comments, and I hope you enjoy reading mine.

1. How do you like to start your mornings?
   In a perfect world, my mornings would always be quiet, and I’d never have to rush. No alarm, and no one peppering me with questions before 11-noon (I’m kind of a grumpy goat for the first hour or two after I get up). I’d be able to lie in bed for hours, petting Tabs and contemplating life…

   This rarely, if ever, happens, of course.

   My alarm usually goes off at 6:30, although I do hit the snooze a couple of times. Then I visit the ladies’ room, splash some water on my face, and drag myself downstairs, not stopping for anythin or anyone until I reach the coffee maker in the kitchen.

   El Hub usually grunts something unintelligible to me on the way, but like I said, I’m pretty uncommunicative first thing in the morning.

2. What company will you be keeping when the ball drops at midnight tomorrow night?
   I’ll be with my boys — El Hub and Tabs.
3. How do you feel about re-gifting?
   I feel OK about it, as long as it isn’t obvious that the gift has been re-gifted, and as long as it’s something I’m sure the recipient will like.

   On the other hand, if the gift is obviously some rand-o, weird piece of junk, then I think it’s kind of tacky.

4. Do you have any habits you’d like to break?
   How about treating 6 p.m. like it’s noon? I would love to finish my days by 6 on the dot. I try, but I’m not very good about watching the clock… Many days I end up in front of the computer past 8. It’s just not healthy.
5. How important are clothes to you?
   Well, they’re kind of important, because without them, I’d be naked. 🙂

   I guess they’re important, but not super important, if that makes any sense. I mean, I love being able to express myself through clothing, and I think I have a quirky style. I also really do believe that the way in which we present ourselves to the world affects how we’re perceived and treated (for better or worse).

   I definitely spent a little more than I care to admit on pricier pieces in my 20s and early 30s than I do now, though. Now, I figure that Tabs is just going to ruin whatever I’m wearing anyway (LOL!), so I’m not really a label snob anymore (I think I was at one time). As long as something’s comfortable, fits well and isn’t entirely covered in cat hair, I’ll wear it.

6. Elaborate nail art: yes or no?
   Yes! Absolutely. I think nail art is so much fun. I want to do it more often.
7. What’s a talent you’d love to have?
   Hmm… How about basic accounting? A lot of my friends and family are accountants — seriously, like, most of them — and they’re all great at quickly processing numbers in their head. I’m talking calculator speed, yo!

   I wish I could do that. I usually have to write numbers down, so it takes me forever to calculate things, like how much I’m saving in a 20% off sale.

8. What shoes are you wearing today?
   The black Sam Edleman boots I got on sale last week. Merry Christmas to me! 🙂
9. What are your best and worst qualities?
   Wow, that’s a tough one. Well, I like being creative, because I think it helps me solve problems in unusual ways. But my worst quality? Ugh…I hate to admit this, but I hold on to grudges longer than I should. I have a hard time letting go of things, especially after big arguments.

   Sigh… I’m working on it.

10. What would you like on your pizza?
    Fresh tomatoes, roasted garlic, olives and basil. Nice and simple. And vegetarian, YUM!

Now it’s your turn. Just copy and paste the following questions into a comment with your answers. I look forward to reading ’em! 🙂

1. How do you like to start your mornings?
2. What company will you be keeping when the ball drops at midnight tomorrow night?
3. How do you feel about re-gifting?
4. Do you have any habits you’d like to break?
5. How important are clothes to you?
6. Elaborate nail art: yes or no?
7. What’s one talent you’d love to have?
8. What shoes are you wearing today?
9. What are your best and worst qualities?
10. What would you like on your pizza?

This is our last Monday Poll of 2013!

I can’t even believe it… In a matter of hours, we’ll be writing 2014 for the date. Weird!

What are your plans for tomorrow night? Do they do fireworks where you live?

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen